


of first kisses and unsaid words

by yeonisthetic



Category: ENHYPEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Jungwon is in love, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Dancing, Sunoo is the best, Wonki kept bickering, jaywon if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28358349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeonisthetic/pseuds/yeonisthetic
Summary: Jungwon tries to think of a present for his bestfriend-of-ten-years on Christmas, yet little did the boy know his existence itself was a gift to Heeseung. And the boy wanted nothing more than his world in his arms.
Relationships: Lee Heeseung/Yang Jungwon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	of first kisses and unsaid words

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is heavily inspired by wishlist by txt and snow flower (feat. peakboy) by v (i recommend u to listen to it while reading hehe) also this is kinda rushed im sorry for any mistakes in advance!

Jungwon is screwed.

He's been tossing and turning in his sheets all night but his head is still filled with nothing but senseless thoughts trailing after each other.

Jungwon had slept over in his seniors' dorm since their apartment was nearer to their university. The rain was coming down that night; a quiet pattering against the bedroom window, sending them into a drowsy state. Yet Jungwon still couldn't find himself to escape off to dreamland. 

The boy has been up until 3 AM, figuring out what gift to give his best-friend-of-ten-years for this year's Christmas, not when the older boy kept goofing around, never taking the raven-haired boy so seriously. 

Heeseung was never the 'picky' type when it comes to receiving gifts. _All I need is your presence, then I would be happy._ It was what the older boy always said. Jungwon can even imagine him sometimesㅡ sitting at the end of their tiny sofa, with that same tender smile curved across his features.

Every year, the two never missed a single Christmas without sharing gifts, enjoying the evening with the warmth of their presence next to each other, smiling widely and their cheeks flushed with tints of pink. 

The boy never had a hard time choosing a gift for the older, especially when they've been friends for a decade now. But this time, Jungwon is absolutely screwed. Maybe because the two were growing older now? The two started changing interests and preferences?

Besides, they're no longer the kids who used to spend every minute of every day together.

"Jungwon?" The boy turns around to see Jake sitting up, hair all messed up and eyes half-open. It was pretty dark in the room but he could see a drowsy Jake scratching his head in confusion.

"Hyung? Why are you still awake?" Jungwon tries to be as quiet as possible so as to not stir the others up from their deep slumber, and he feels bad because he has woken up his senior instead.

"I should be asking that to you, what are you still doing at the crack ass of dawn?" 

Jungwon just sighs as a response, "You should get back to sleep. You don't wanna join me and regret it in the morning. Plus, we still have classes tomorrow."

Jake mumbled something but it was too blurry for Jungwon to make anything out of it, before falling back asleep. Jungwon stands up, checking if any of the boys have woken up but they're still in deep sleep. 

Jungwon kneels down on the floor in front of the older's bed, watching as Heeseung's cheek flatten in the pillow, lips jutting out in a pout as his chest rises and falls in a steady rhythm. He trails his fingers along his features, dragging his fingers along the curves of his nose, lips, and his jawline. 

Heeseung is pretty even in his sleep. 

One time Heeseung jokingly told Jungwon to kiss him under the mistletoe for his Christmas gift, and ended up getting punched on the shoulder from the younger along with a warning glare. 

Although the younger boy knew he was just goofing around, it still didn't stop him from feeling heat rise up to the tip of his ears, his heart relentlessly pounding against his ribcage. 

Yet little did Jungwon know that the auburn-haired boy was being genuine, like a flower blooming in his chest but as he sees the confused look written on the younger's features, he remains silent. 

"Oh god, what am I doing.." Jungwon snaps out from his trail of thoughts, crawling back to his own bed before averting his head on their beige colored ceiling. 

Has he always been like this before? 

_________

Jungwon pays attention. 

He's been sparing glances at Heeseung every after five minutes during their class. He pays attention to the older boy, noticing how Heeseung can’t help but prop his feet up on the chair whenever he’s seated. How he continuously taps his index finger on his desk table out of habit. Or how his lips jut out in a pout whenever he listens attentively in class. 

And yet he still couldn't think of a gift for Heeseung on Christmas. 

"What the hell am I supposed to do now.." Jungwon heaves out a sigh, pressing his chin on his palm as he diverts his attention to their professor. 

Hours seemed to pass by quickly, their classes have finally finished and Jungwon heads to his locker, placing back all of his books until he feels an arm loop around his shoulder. 

"Why do you look so upset?" 

It's the first words that Jungwon hears as he carelessly shuts his locker door close. Sunghoon is bright-eyed when he saunters right next to Jungwon, only for a frown to draw itself on his lips. 

"Oh hey Sunghoon hyung!" Jungwon swerves away from the question, choosing to loop his arm around the older boy instead. "How's class?" 

"Dont ignore my question," Sunghoon insists, staring straight into Jungwon's eyes, only for the latter to surrender. He knew he could never lie to him; Sunghoon was his older brother and his best friend, of course, he knows whenever Jungwon's telling the truth or not. 

"Alright fine." The younger trails off, finally facing the older boy. "You see, it's nearly Christmas Eve. You remember the thing I told you before? Where Heeseung hyung and I would exchange gifts?"

"Oh those cheesy annual things you do every Christmas?" Jungwon nudged Sunghoon by the elbow, he didn't put much force, but it was enough for the boy to wince from the sudden attack.

"Okay okay! I'm sorry." Sunghoon stifles a laugh, "So what about that?" 

"I don't know what to give him." 

"Yang Jungwon? Are you kidding?" Sunghoon dismissively waves his hand in front of Jungwon's face. "You've been ridiculously worried the whole day, only for that being the sole reason?"

"Jungwonie you fucking el gee bee tee eternally soft for Heeseung hyung loser." He barks out a laugh, the corner of his lips curving into a smirk. 

Jungwon couldn't help but roll his eyes, he should've known Sunghoon wouldn't be much of a help especially when it comes to these kinds of situations. 

"You know what, I'm leaving!" Jungwon grumbles, shaking off his arm in the taller's shoulders as he leaves the campus, leaving the elder behind. 

"Hey! Don't you know we have the same class?!" 

Jungwon covers his ears with his own palms to mime the act of not hearing what the boy was saying, stepping out of the campus building as he gallops towards the department building. 

The winter breeze is a cruel one, with the ice-cold wind blowing mercilessly against his face. The skies are streaked with orange and pink hues, a pretty view that Jungwon wouldn't mind taking his time in admiring it. His gaze flickers upwards, watching the clouds shift through the sky and it's undeniably beautiful to be out like this, seeing it.

Soon, the snowflakes started pouring as he made his way to his department. He's quick on his feet, careful that he wouldn't slip as he holds his hoodie over his head. A few droplets of the snowflakes got caught in his hair as he shook his head, bringing down his hoodie once he's finally in the safety of his own building.

A voice echoes from his right side and out of instinct, his entire body freezes in his position. His eyes flicker to where the voice came from and the warmth rushes through his veins. His breath became stuck in his throat as his heart started hammering wildly in his chest. 

"Hyung?" His voice barely came out as a whisper as Heeseung crosses the remaining distance between them, that sweet smile curled upon his lips. That same smile that made his heart twist and fall to his feet whenever he sees it. 

"Hey, Jungwonie." Heeseung always called him that since when they were young and it always made the younger boy's heart skip a beat whenever he heard it from his lips.

"Are you heading to class too?" 

"Well, yeah. It's my remaining class for the day."

"Oh. By the way," Jungwon trails off, facing the older boy, "What do you want as a gift for Christmas?"

"Seriously?" Heeseung kept his tone lighthearted, letting the smile on his lips linger a little longer, "It's the seventh time you have asked me that this week."

"Oh."

He covers his cheek, gazing at Heeseung with wide eyes as he swallows quickly. "Right! I'm so sorry for bothering you with the same question all over again." 

Heeseung elicits a soft sigh, "You were never a bother to me, Jungwon-ya." The auburn-haired boy pinches Jungwon's cheeks, and god, Jungwon thought he was going to melt right on the spot. 

"And didn't I tell you? Your existence is enough for me." 

It was the third time Heeseung had replied the same response to Jungwon, yet no matter how many times the boy had said it, Jungwon never failed to feel a deep shade of red creep onto his cheeks, his heartbeat echoing like a relentless beat. 

Heeseung walks right next to him, the pair falling into a comfortable silence as their fingers brush against each other. Heeseung is always such a comforting presence to be around with and right now, being with him is sending Jungwon's heart into a chaotic mess in his chest.

He doesn't mind it though; especially when he feels their fingers intertwine in a loose hold as Heeseung lets the small smile linger along his lips a little longer. 

Jungwon doesn't mind it at all.

_________

Jungwon tried his hardest to ignore the lingering feeling of unease inside of him, burying any sort of non-platonic attachment he has for Heeseung. He was worriedㅡ no, he was more than worried. He couldn't come visit Heeseung's dorm at Christmas empty-handed. He needs to figure out his wishlist. 

Jungwon had been friends with Heeseung back then when he met him at the playground after he had a bruise that bloomed on his skin when he skidded his knee against the pavement. He cried to him that day, the pain pressing deep through his veins and Heeseung held him. His warmth and tight embrace was enough for Jungwon to steady his breathing, feeling the way his heart fell into such a calming beat that he slowly grew to love over the years. 

Even when they were still young, Heeseung had always felt like home. 

Yet among their 10 years of their friendship, Jungwon had never expected to have a hard time choosing a goddamn Christmas gift for the auburn-haired boy. 

Why was he putting so much effort in giving him a gift in the first place?

"Are you really going to let that thing bother you even on breakfast?" Sunoo's voice rang through the younger boy's ears, snapping him back to reality. He is the first one to speak up about the matter during one of their rare breakfast sessions, plopping right in front of Jungwon so he can start eating his cereal. 

Jungwon replies with a sigh, "I don't know hyung, I couldn't come to his dorm empty-handed, not when I've been consistently giving him gifts every year."

"Oh, come on." Ni-ki walks in the kitchen, suppressing a yawn as he rubs his eyes. His pajamas are wrinkled as he takes the empty seat between Jungwon and Sunoo, lazily taking a toast and munching down on it, "What do you mean gift? Screw that shit and just kiss him under the mistletoe like what he told you!" 

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Jungwon counters, jabbing his spoon towards Ni-ki's direction. The latter stifles a laugh, a sly smirk curving upon his features. "See, look who's blushing hardly like a tomato right now." Jungwon can feel the heat rising up to the tip of his ears, a dark shade of red creeping onto his cheeks. Ni-ki was right, he really looked like a tomato. 

"Get lost! You're no help." 

"You know Jungwonie, what Ni-ki said was quite right." Jungwon turns to face Sunoo, eyebrows knitting in confusion. "You literally like Heeseung hyung, why don't you confess to him instead? You know, gifts don't always have to be material things, it can also consist of simple messages like 'I love you' or even your existence yourself can be a gift."

(Just exactly like what Heeseung said. Jungwon has lost count of how many times he had heard that this week, he might even get sick of it already if he hears it another time.)

Jungwon nearly chokes on his toast, hurriedly taking a gulp of his water before he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "What do you mean I like him?! That's not true! I hate, I mean loveㅡ He's just a friend!" 

"He's just a friend.." Ni-ki mimics Jungwon, rolling his eyes afterwards. An elbow came straight in contact on the blonde boy's shoulder along with a warning glare. Jungwon didn’t put much force, but it was enough to make Ni-ki wince from the sudden attack. Sometimes the blonde boy forgot his petite best friend had a taekwondo black belt at a very young age.

"See, Jungwon? You're being defensive, you clearly like Heeseung hyung." 

Jungwon's face flushed in embarrassment, his cheeks painted with tints of pink. He could no longer ignore the way his heart was pounding so much in his chest, drowning out every other sound with the exception of Ni-ki's mischievous laughter, ringing loudly in his ears. 

"Oooh, someone's in love." Ni-ki teases the raven-haired boy, only getting a loud grumble as a response. 

Sunoo was right, the younger boy could no longer deny the fact that he's in love with his one and only best friend.

Heeseung drives him insane; a flicker of his gaze at his direction and the smile that curves upon his lips always leaves Jungwon's heart to a mess, hammering wildly in his chest as if it's going to break his ribcage any minute. It's almost as if it's chasing after the older boy, eager to feel the warmth that blooms through his chest whenever their fingers linger.

It never helps that he becomes breathless when they're with each other. He was so, so beautiful whenever he looks at the younger, lips curving into a sweet smile. He was always beautiful, Heeseung, always and forever. Whenever the pair walk home from school side by side, their fingers brushing in the softest way possible. Whenever he slept over at Jungwon's house, falling asleep in the younger boy's arms despite being the taller one. When he had just woken up in the morning and he was still groggy cause he hadn't washed his face or had breakfast yet.

Doing everything and anything, Lee Heeseung was beautiful. and Yang Jungwon loved him with every single part of his heart.

Though in that moment, he didn't think of him as his best friend. He looked at him with adoration, like he wanted him more than that.

His heart fell into pieces in his ribcage that moment, a huge lump residing in his throat. Everything in him fell still and he realized that maybe he was in love — he was so deep in his love for him.

Jungwon snaps out of his trail of thoughts as Sunoo arches a brow at him, tilting his head to the side. The younger boy only sighs, staying silent as he finishes up his toast. He can see the way Sunoo and Ni-ki exchange glances briefly before they lean in close to Jungwon's personal space.

"So… are you going to confess to him?" 

"I don't know." Jungwon frowns, munching on his toast, "What if he doesn't like me back? I'll just end up creating a distance between us."

Ni-ki heaves out an audible, heavy sigh. The boy turns to face Jungwon and once again leaning over, their foreheads almost pressing. "I've never known someone as dense as your ass."

Jungwon waves his hand at the blonde boy, putting enough distance between them as he stands from his chair. He puts his used plate in the sink, turning back to his roommates. "What the hell do you mean?"

"He literally likes you! Haven't you noticed the way he looks at you longer than any of us? The soft, tender smile in his lips whenever you are together? Oh god, Jungwon, you are so, so dense." 

The raven-haired boy can only nod, sighing in defeat. Maybe he should listen to his roommates for once, maybe he should get ahead of himself, just for this time.

Maybe Heeseung really liked him. 

"Fine, I'll do it." 

With the edge of finality in his tone, the two boys nod their heads and finally choose to drop the topic at hand, a smirk curving across the corner of their lips. 

They've never pushed him to do something, they've always supported Jungwon in every decision even when they found out he had fallen for Heeseung, his best friend, which was quite risky. The two trust Jungwon on his decisions and they only want him to be happy.

He washes up his own plate and dries it off, putting it back in the cabinet. He tries not to dwell in the feelings that erupted deep within his chest. "I'm gonna head to my classes now. Let's watch movies later."

"Oh, can I pick the movie this time?" Ni-ki quickly speaks up and Sunoo lets out a sigh of defeat. Jungwon elicits a laugh, nodding his head as he steps out of the kitchen.

"Sure, I'll pick you guys up from your classes so we can head there together."

With that, he steps away from the kitchen, moving close to grab his sweater and slipping it on his body. From the cloudy weather residing out of their windows, he can see that it might snow later so he makes sure to grab his hoodie. He runs his fingers through his raven hair, brushing away his strands as he slips out of the dormitory to make his way to his first class of the day.

They've known each other for ten years, and Jungwon had come to realise his feelings for his hyung were something more than platonic for a little less than a week ago. His mind is reeling at the fact that he's pining over his ten-years best friend. 

To confess means taking a huge leap of faith by risking the close bond you already have with someone for the sake of the small possibility of becoming even closer. It's bold. It's risky.

But maybe Heeseung is worth the risk. 

_________ 

Today is the day. 

It's nearly Christmas Eve. Jungwon spent the whole time in his dorm, just binge-watching Netflix along with his two roommates. There was a serene air in the living room, yet at the same time, it was clouded by ambiguity, one filled with a lingering strain and one with doubtful thoughts. 

"Hey Jungwonie, are you okay?" Sunoo nudges him by the elbow, noticing the uneasiness curving across Jungwon's features, "You know you can just back off if you can't do it."

Jungwon shakes his head, flashing the older boy a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, I can do it." Ni-ki spares a glance at Jungwon and the latter elicits a soft smile, squeezing his hand in reassurance. 

The rest of the day went fast, flashing before Jungwon's eyes in a span of a second. It was as if time started to run so fast and at the same time, it felt like everything had fallen still, like time was slowing down. 

He snaps out of his trail of thoughts, finding himself right behind Jay who was rummaging through his queen-sized closet, throwing piles and piles of clothes on the floor. Jungwon never realised the blonde-haired boy had _that_ much clothes. 

"I literally don't have anything to lend you." Jay whined as he gave up on digging his closet, laying down next to a mountain of sweaters. 

Jungwon raised a brow at Jay, then gestured at the whole room in an exaggerated manner, "You don't have anything to lend me?" He kept his tone as sarcastic as possible. Of course, the blond picked it up immediately. 

"Oh come on, Jungwon." He sighs in frustration, running a hand through his blonde locks. "I know Heeseung hyung doesn't really care what you wear, but you see, it's a date! You need to dress at least more nicely." 

Jungwon thought he would throw up, ignoring the way his face started heating up, a deep shade of red dusting his face. "For the nth time hyung, it's not a date!" 

"I'm gonna cry god," Jay mimes the act of weeping, teasingly wrapping his arms around Jungwon and resting his chin on the younger boy's shoulder. "My baby is already growing!" 

Jungwon grumbles, shaking off Jay's arms in his shoulders while digging through the messy array of clothes scattered on the bed, "I'm not a baby, get off me!" 

"I can't believe you're going to confess to Heeseung hyung now. You two went through a lot, you finally realized how dense your asses were…" Jay mumbles the last part almost inaudibly, earning an arched brow from Jungwon but the latter decides to shrug it off instead. 

Jungwon ended up going for a knitted wool sweater vest outside of a white shirt, a classic beret pretty on his head like a cherry on top. He was beautiful. 

"Perfect." Jay flashes a grin, eyeing Jungwon's outfit from head to toe. 

"Thanks hyung." Jungwon elicits a soft smile, helping the blonde boy in placing all the piles of clothes back in his queen-sized closet. Jay brings the younger boy outside afterwards, lending him an extra cozy scarf in order to warm himself from the cold winter breeze. 

"Anytime." The older boy lightly ruffles Jungwon's hair, "Goodluck on your confession by the way!" Jay lets out a lighthearted laugh as Jungwon's cheeks flush in embarrassment, his face sinking onto his scarf.

This is it. You're all set, Jungwon. 

_________

Jungwon sits comfortably on the couch with the warm scarf wrapped around his neck as he watches Heeseung hang the last decoration on the Christmas tree. Once the boy is done, he goes behind the tree to plug in the lights wrapped around it.

In a flash, the Christmas tree lights up the whole room, making it look like a swarm of rainbow-colored fireflies dancing in the air from a distance. Warm and alive. 

“Took you long enough,” Jungwon lets out a laugh.

Heeseung turns to make a face at him, “You didn’t help me.”

The older boy then throws himself onto the couch next to Jungwon, resting his head on the younger boy's lap. The touch leaves Jungwon flinching the slightest, it took everything in Jungwon not to let his heart collapse into pieces within his chest.

Jungwon sits up and takes out his phone from his back pocket. He puts on a song and as soon as it plays, Heeseung instantly recognizes the familiar beat.

_Amid the cold season, it's a special event when you come into this cold season_

_Your warmness melts away my blue and grey._

The mellow tune of the song inspired a quite romantic mood, an idea immediately sparking in Heeseung's mind. He takes a leap of faith, standing up and holding out a hand to Jungwon. 

"May I have this dance?" 

The surprise and confusion was evident in the younger boy's face. Heeseung starts getting embarrassed, cheeks tinted with a soft pink blush, thinking that Jungwon won't play with his antics. But then he feels a small hand lay on top of his. 

"Why yes, my good man." 

The two awkwardly step forward, backwards, and sideways. Jungwon steps on the auburn-haired boy's toes multiple times, chuckling each time he does. Heeseung can't even get mad for the ache in his feet, not when Jungwon was smiling widely, cheeks dusted with a soft pink blush.

Instead, he pulls Jungwon by his waist to wrap both of his hands around him. The sudden pull surprises the younger, but instead of stepping away, he gets bold and places his two arms around Heeseung's shoulders. 

_Christmas without you would just not be Christmas at all._

_Bright mistletoes up above us, it's just you and me. (I love you)_

If Jungwon could point out the one place where he feels the safest in the whole universe, it would be right here, just like this.

Just like this very momentㅡ the bright moon watching over them, the mistletoe above their heads, the lights on the Christmas Tree reflecting on Jungwon's wide eyes like stars hiding beneath his irises, and the stillness of the night like time is put to a stop and they're the only two people left on earth. 

The younger boy rests his head on Heeseung's chest, gently swaying together in sync with the music.

Just like this. Jungwon wants nothing more than just this. 

Jungwon turns to face Heeseung and his breath hitches. The full moon had crept through the slits in their blinds, casting sharp shadows across his face but he can still make out the cold-induced pink blush in his cheeks. The boy had round auburn-hair, a well shaped nose and rather pretty lips. He looks so perfect like this, with the moonlight spilling out of silver hues across his face.

Heeseung was beautiful.

It's endearing to see him like that. The sight alone is driving his heart to slam itself against his ribcage, hearing the rhythmic pattern echoing in his ears. 

Heeseung turns to the younger boy, he catches sight of the dreamy, spaced out expression painted on his features. 

"What are you staring at?" The auburn-haired boy commented off-handedly, keeping his tone lighthearted as a small smile lingers on his lips.

_Fuck, I need to tell him now._

"Heeseungie hyung, I need to tell you something."

The urgency in his voice causes Heeseung to suddenly curve his lips into a slight frown, clearly troubled at his tone. Heeseung hurriedly pulls away, turning to the other boy with worry written all over his features.

It feels odd to be standing there, the pair just facing right each other and Jungwon's heart racing a hundred miles per minute. The rush of blood pounding in his ears drowns out everything else, except for the sight of Heeseung staring at him with concern though he doesn't push him immediately to tell him. 

Jungwon takes a deep breath, no longer letting his thoughts hold him back anymore.

"I like you, hyung."

It's quiet. So painfully quiet that Jungwon could hear the way the silence resounded inside the apartment's living room. He could hear the steady thumping of his own heart beating against his ribcage as it always did.

"You... what?" 

The younger can sense the disbelief tightly laced around Heeseung's voice and now, the younger is spiraling into panic. This is a bad idea, isn't it? What if he misread the signs? What if the boy didn't actually like him?

But he can't take it back anymore, not when Heeseung is staring at him with wide eyes. The younger boy elicits a shaky sigh, choosing to lower his head as he nervously wrings his hands.

"I like you, okay? We've been friends for a decade and this past week made me realize how much you've meant to me over the years and... whenever you flash a smile towards my direction every time we spare a glance at each other..."

"And how I didn't have to bring any gift for you for Christmas just like how we used to do before." He murmurs, his voice becoming softer and softer as seconds pass by. 

"Like you said," The boy trails off, "my presence itself was a gift…" 

This isn't supposed to happen — Jungwon didn't want this to happen. He tries to shrug it off by letting out a laugh, but nevertheless his laugh felt hollow, painfully empty.

"I," Heeseung finally speaks up, voice timid as he rubs the nape of his neck. He can't even look Jungwon straight in his eye as he whispers beneath his breath, "I'm so, so sorry."

_Oh._

Jungwon was getting ahead of himself again, isn't he? He can't help but avert his attention to the ground, unable to stop his fingers from twitching as his teeth sunk into his lower lip, biting on it so deeply to the point it started to bleed. 

He heaves out a deep sigh, but when he was about to stand up, Heeseung held onto his wrist tightly enough to catch his attention.

"Listen, Jungwonie. You didn't let me finish yet." There was a flicker of hope hiding beneath the younger boy's irises, but nevertheless, he felt nervous ㅡ so, so nervous to the point where he just wants the ground to eat him up right then and there. 

"Ever since we were children, I always looked after you. Making sure you don't get home with a scratch on your knee. And that you weren't getting bullied by the older kids at school. Even until today, despite the fact that we're in college now, I still look after you, making sure you always get home before the curfew time. Making sure you don't overwork yourself and end up getting a high fever the next day."

"Throughout the years, I was by your side. I've been liking you since I was fifteen and now, I still like you just the same. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier."

This time, it's Jungwon who is left speechless at the older boy's words. He stares at him, mouth slightly agape before he swallows the lump forming in his throat. "What are you saying, hyung?"

Heeseung finally lets out a soft laugh, running a hand through his dark strands as he lifts his head to look at the Jungwon. The younger boy thinks that he looks pretty — even with the fluorescent light hanging over their heads, the night sky deeply colored in darkness, Heeseung stood out even brighter than he did before.

And he looked even prettier when his eyes lit up as he said the words that Jungwon had always longed to hear from him.

"That means I like you too, Jungwonie." 

He leans in, closing the distance between them and Jungwon's heart feels like it's going to burst out of his chest. He doesn't know what to do, his head is spinning so fast at the feeling of the warmth surrounding his body and an overwhelming crash of emotions within him.

_Let's cover the entire world with white flowers._

_Make the stopped time even more special._

_I hope that a flower falls into your sad smile._

"I like you so much." Heeseung whispers and leans in, hand warm against Jungwon's cheek. A tender touch, so soft that it sends Jungwon's heart pounding swiftly, a thunderous echo banging against his ribcage.

"Can Iㅡ"

"Kiss me already?"

They spoke at the same time, words collapsing ang overlapping. A laugh echoes between them and the older boy quietly answers, "Okay."

It doesn't take him another moment of hesitation before he tilts his head, lips capturing his in a slow kiss. Jungwon couldn't help but let his eyes flutter shut as he leaned into the kiss, willingly indulging himself at the warmth radiating from the older boy's touch. 

They fit perfectly like this, Jungwon curved up against Heeseung's body as he wraps his arms around the older boy. He feels safe, so at home as Heeseung kisses him, sending the burst of butterflies in his stomach.

Heeseung is so gentle, so achingly sweet, like a comfortable blanket that wraps around Jungwon as kisses him, pulling him into his arms tightly. The way his fingers shift to graze against the curve of the younger boy's cheek, running through his black strands before his hands trail down to his waist to pull him closer leaves Jungwon out of breath, it doesn't help that the way Heeseung kisses him leaves him with flushed cheeks.

The older boy slowly pulls away, breaking the kiss to let them catch their breaths though he doesn't let Jungwon pull away too far. It's already known to them how much they love having each other close like this.

_When the world dyes beautifully white, I'll spread those faded colors with you._

_This year there's a lot of those white angels every which way_

_I take a deep breath and look at those flowers that resemble you._

Under the soft glow of the lighting, Jungwon looks pretty when he's blushing and right now, Heeseung wants nothing more than to be the reason why he makes him feel this way.

"Does this mean that we're dating now?"

"Well aren't we?" 

Jungwon certainly can feel himself craving for his warmth as he pulls himself closer, burying his face against the crook of his neck as the other runs a hand down his back.

"That took us too long.” Heeseung lets out a laugh, his smile growing even wider. 

He feels the smile crossing his features as he tightens his hold around him. For once, he feels more at home, knowing that his heart is safely nestled in Heeseung's hands together right where they truly belonged. 

Heeseung was right. 

After all, Jungwon's existence itself was a gift to Heeseung. And the boy wanted nothing more than the world in his arms. 

_Feel this warmth beside me_

_Hold me with your fine cold hands_

_I'll protect you always,_

_I'll feel the falling snow with you forever._

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time posting a fic (although ive written some before but i just . abandoned all of them) hhh if u liked it pls do leave a kudos ! :]


End file.
